im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
whose parrot is this?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
