summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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