worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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