Even water is tasting like jack daniels
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
