What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
