R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
