So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
