My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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