member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
