it wasn't lemon gatorade
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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