apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
