I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
