Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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