Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
