I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
