I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
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She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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