we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
