marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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