I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
