literally had 100 drinks last night.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
