FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
