i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
