quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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