I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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