yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I'm really into asian looking animals
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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