I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize