Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
