I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
There's always time for handjobs
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
