can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
