Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
