NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I could fuck to npr.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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