just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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