Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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