SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
