so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
