I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
