What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
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And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
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i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
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So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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