Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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