Already got asked if we're dating
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
