Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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