Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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