Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
