we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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