chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
