Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
