That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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