Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
