speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
