butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
