You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
