im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
