Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
