she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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