Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
