my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
