I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
