i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
