I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
