I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
