upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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